Satire graphic from The Grand Rapids Roast. An aerial view of several outdoor hockey rinks laid out in a grid on snow, with tiny skaters on the ice, overlaid with the headline "Hockey's Interim Chain Reaches Van Andel Arena, Names Zamboni Interim Zamboni." Labeled SATIRE, with the line "Satire. Real news, made-up jokes."

Photo: Derek Thomson, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

The Grand Rapids Griffins have named a former Detroit Red Wing their interim general manager, completing a chain of temporary job titles so thorough that the Van Andel Arena Zamboni has been named interim Zamboni out of respect for the trend.

The sequence, for anyone keeping a flowchart: Detroit's general manager announced in July that he was leaving the job. Earlier in September, the executive who held the Griffins GM role was called up to serve as interim general manager of the Red Wings. On Friday, the Griffins filled their chair with a former Red Wing who played 10 of his NHL seasons in Detroit, and every nameplate in the building quietly switched to a dry-erase board.

"Around here, a call-up used to mean a winger packed a bag for Detroit. Now the front office packs bags," said Merle Brinkhuis, 61, a Griffins season ticket holder who has carried the same stadium seat cushion into Van Andel Arena since it was a new seat cushion. "I refresh the team website before breakfast just to see who is in charge. It is like checking the weather, except the weather is a job title."

The Zamboni, reached in its garage at the end of the rink, accepted the promotion with a short, dignified beep and said it was "honored to serve on an interim basis," adding that "the ice is still the ice, and that is all anyone can ask of an interim." The timing is tidy: only days ago the Griffins, Gold and Rise held their annual sticker installation on the outside of Van Andel Arena, which in hindsight may be the most permanent thing anyone in hockey has done all month.

West Michigan will adapt. This is a city that can sell out 10,834 seats for minor-league hockey and still find time to argue Michigan versus Michigan State between periods. Asked who would take over if the Zamboni also gets called up to Detroit, the interim Zamboni beeped twice and rolled back into its garage, which in hockey means no comment.

Reality Check

The interim chain is real, minus the Zamboni. The Grand Rapids Griffins announced Friday, Sept. 25, 2026, that former Detroit Red Wing Dan Cleary is the AHL team's interim general manager, WOOD TV8 reported. Cleary played in the NHL from 1997 to 2015, including 10 seasons with the Red Wings, and said in a statement posted to social media that he was "super excited" to join the Griffins. He replaces Shawn Horcoff, who was called up the week before to serve as interim general manager of the Red Wings. Horcoff took over for Steve Yzerman, who announced in July that he was leaving that role. So a departure in Detroit became a promotion in Detroit, which became an opening in Grand Rapids, which became a job for a former Red Wing. WOOD TV8 did not report any change in title for the arena's ice resurfacer.

Satire. Real news, made-up jokes. Facts are credited and linked; everything else is invented. The straight story is in the Reality Check.